Klärung

Months have passed since I last posted on update on this blog, and I doubt anyone even cares anymore or even believes my experiences but if they do then well here is the closure you might want. It is after all the closure that I need. I obviously failed in trying to off myself in a proper way only wounding myself and Syndicate severely, but not enough to actually bring about his death, and mine along with him. He faded briefly weakened by the reality of his body dissipating with the lack of future me, but he stuck around. In these past months, I ended up becoming significantly more sick from Void exposure and well at this point I’d guess I’m halfway to becoming what Syndicate wanted me to become in the first place… him. 

With my newfound affinity for manipulation of realities, I’ve had a fantastic opportunity to visit so many places. There is so much beauty that the average person could never understand, and equally, there is just as much darkness and horrifying things lurking out in the beyond. I wish I could observe it all without becoming a monster like Syndicate, which is why I’m trying to destroy myself in the first place. No point in walking among gods if I become a malevolent one. Syndicate is a constant, but I found out why he needs me so bad, I’m an anchor. I am a necessity as in, I am also a constant.

What’s sad is Syndicate isn’t always bad, sometimes a good version comes along but even if he does no harm he brings along all the problems of universes he has been to along with him on his journeys almost like some demonic push broom. I’ve finished my part in this great game and now it is everyone else's turn. Even as I think these sentences up I’m fading off more and more, Syndicate’s agonized screams ringing through my conscious begging for me to stop. I stopped, only because I knew it’d drag him down with me, and to make things worse I won’t even remember this wherever I wake up next. 

I passed along my problem to a better version of me out in the Multiverse, and I made sure I did, I looked ahead and made sure he finishes this damn cycle already. Good thing he does, this will all be over and the chances of the Void spilling over into peaceful worlds will diminish substantially. Sure someday some company will come along and try to tear reality a new one and inevitably create some dimensional crisis but I dunno why I should even care about something like that. Although last time I checked it falls upon a bunch of mortal beings playing pretend on some platform called Discord. Hey, the universe is weird that way. But as far as I know, they get closure on everything as well, literally and figuratively. 

So what’s next? Nothing. If you expect anything past this point you really are a fool. I don’t have anything else to tell and in the place beyond this one I’m pretty sure there either is nothing, or there is something but I won’t have the capability to talk to the outside anymore and that’s ok. Maybe some person up above at the controls will write a book about all this someday. I’m pretty certain it’d make for a gripping psychological horror book, something like Mr. King’s stuff (telling you the mans a genius). I think the idea of a book about this is novel if you get what I mean, call if Mors Novum: Red Solstice! Now that’s a book title.

Nothing more to say anymore, I’m sure I don’t have much blood left in us so I’ll press publish because it would be incredibly ironic if I just up and died right about now without ever giving the closure people need.